Sitting in my friend's car, watching trees and cars passing by, enjoying the warmth of the sun and running away from the place I am familiar with and the stress of work and study, I really felt relaxed and congratulated on my wise decision of going out.
It is really interesting of three girls with poor sense of direction to drive. We wasted a lot of time in following the right direction and finally had our lunch at around 3 pm. We really enjoyed this authentic Chinese lunch and the quiet environment of this restaurant. After lunch, we went to the cross creek shopping center.
Zifei and I have been living together for almost a year; and we share plenty of commonalities including the dressing style and thus shopping together with Zifei is really fantastic experience. However, Hong's style differs a lot from ours. When Zifei and I were shopping, we noticed that Hong was a little bored; while when Hong was shopping, she felt the same way and quickly finished. At last, we end up having ice cream while talking in the mall which we all have interest in and had a really good time together.
Actually, this issue is really tricky. Not enjoying shopping with Hong doesn't mean I don't want to hang out with her. If I want to visit an exhibition rather than shopping, I would definitely go with Hong. This may be because our personality has so many layers and we have different interests. Therefore, our play also has multiple aspects. And this could be the reason why we need so many different friends, some of them sharing more commonalities with us while others sharing less. If we cannot find an appropriate person to play with, we would rather to immerse ourselves in solitary play.
Another aspect of this issue is that our friendship is just on the first stage, we know but not quite familiar with each other. That's the reason why have to take care of others' feelings by concealing our true feelings. If we are close enough, I think those social nicety will give way to the true happiness in play. This is the natural way of building relationship, from formality to familiarity.
What wonderful pictures, and the FOOD! It makes me hungry just to look at it. You make many interesting points about friendship formation. It takes time to 'figure each other out.' We may begin the 'dance' perhaps by know that we just enjoy each other as people in general, but then comes the work, in some ways, of figuring out what we enjoy doing together -- where are we most compatible and companionable? It is so true that there are friends that I might choose to ask to a movie, others to dinner, and still others shopping or to an exhibit, but all of that is based upon so many variables. It brings me back to Vivian Gussin Paley's, "You Can't Say You Can't Play" book/idea. How on earth can we (or should we) ask children in a play setting who are forming groups to say, play in the dramatic play corner, or build a block structure, or do a puzzle with them, allow EVERYONE to play with them, regardless of whom they have come to know and believe they would enjoy doing these things with the most? That is the opposite of agency, I think.
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